I live with a diagnosed BPD individual. She is mid range on the spectrum with episodes often while over time not as severe. While daunting, nevertheless.

Her progress over the last two plus years is conspicuous. And most encouraging. Why has she progressed you might wonder? Simply, I remain with her no matter what. No easy task. But true, nevertheless. Fears of abandonment are now two way streets. She and I both participate but she is held accountable for her acts. And fears. The lesser or two evils, the most evil of all being what created them. That is for the professional, outside mentor and sage.

While there is much more. I am aware of the cycles. And their antecedents. They are both predicable and now over time, manageable. But there is always more. More sometimes is simply enough.

Her fears albeit real are less. Her lessening of fears creates less depth to the episodes. And from there the cycles lessen the spirals. I say put, her fears are mitigated. Fears lessened, her episodes subside.

Your experience reminds me of jungle school instructors who had never been deep into the jungle. And there lies both problem and the solution to your essay. You are familiar with the territory while only a clue to the map.