You are amazing. And wondersome as one would have it but look take a look ...closer the better, the longer the better yet, and what do you have? You. And you and your intentions focused on getting what others unlike you possess, a genuine self. OR is it something else. NPD s a disorder that has a foundational truth a failture to deeply appreciate your orginial...genuine self. Thus, no empathy for one's self alas, not possible to have it for another. You have skipped a critical part of the equation to get to what you seek, affirmation from others. And with that a falseness insues. And worse yet, the illusion that other have when confronted with it. I believe you are wishing for a better you, but not for the betterment of others, via emapthy and deep affections it creates, but to progress with your purpose and its inherent intentions, to be affirmed not by going to the root of the problem but by pruning the tree of its obvious conundrum.

Eric